Look! This is really interesting!!!

exclamation markIf you want people to stop reading your writing, make sure you emphasise everything! Absolutely everything!! Because everything you write is the most exciting thing ever!!!!!! And the funniest!!!!!!!!!!!!

And if you haven’t already made everything! exciting! then make sure you add a couple of “!!” at random times to try to make your writing more interesting! Or to bring some attention to it, because it’s so worth reading!!!

And if you really want your reader to go elsewhere make sure you write really really long sentences and paragraphs and pay no attention whatsoever to grammar or any of that namby pamby proper writing because your edgy cool and dont and never have paid attention to rules conventions and all that other authoritarian bullshit. Your better than that and you know this because your readers tell you so!!

Either that or you’re just ignorant and can’t be bothered to learn.

An approach that’s always guaranteed to keep your readers.

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